The Happy Ones

In this round world that never seems to stop spinning, everyone likes to feel like they are on top of things. Now before anyone’s mind can take residence in the gutter I’d like to clear the air by adding that I am not referring to the person-on-top sexual thing. Although I am specifically intrigued by the positions of human beings during coitus, it is with profound seriousness that I distance myself from such thoughts at this moment in time. Right now I am talking about being in control and having things go your way; I am talking about happiness. We all like to be happy and even though many of us eventually die, perish and are forgotten without even getting a whiff of happiness, it is safe to say that we all crave that sweet pill.

happiness wordleThe Perfect Craving

A great man once told me that the true mark of happiness is the ability to infect others with this happiness. (The man I am referring to is my dad and YES – he is a great man). According to this wise man, if people around you cannot see, feel or benefit from this happiness then you may as well go back to the drawing board. Happiness is not supposed to be selfish; it is supposed to be communal. People might pretend to be happy, wear happy faces, sing happy songs but silently waste away with sadness because they have refused to share their happiness.

After being on this earth for a little while, I have learnt that happiness is almost an exclusive concept and not too many people can boast to have it. There are a few people who in my opinion enjoy real happiness because they know nothing else.

There are however some who know nothing but happiness, not just because they appear happy but because they spread this happiness around – often times at no cost. I present a few of these special folks.

  1. Little Children

There is no doubt that little children are extremely happy creatures. They are oblivious to things like global warming, taxation, wars, leaked nudes, Ebola and famine. They simply live – happily. How they manage to do this, no one knows yet – which is a bit strange since we were all once children. When a child has just been born, they usually send out a tiny little cry to alert the world that they have arrived. They simply pop out and begin to enjoy the free oxygen out here. During their infant years, they demand for things, they are totally destructive and they are generally a nuisance but always get away with it because they simply don’t give a rat’s ass. The happiness that these little fellas enjoy is the kind that cannot be faked or worn as a mask because it is real. The simplest of things make them extremely happy and one does not need to be a psychologist to know that a little child is happy. They never complicate things like women who will tell you they are happy while holding daggers to your back or relatives who will appear happy yet they are secretly counting down to when R.I.P is added to your name so they can enjoy what you leave behind. Little children in my opinion are the happiest creatures on this universe.

BrilliantWise words from Yogi Bhajan

  1. Drunk People

When looking at the list of happy people, drunk people come in at a close second. The only difference between the happiness of little children and that of drunk people is that drunk people’s happiness is somewhat unpredictable, often relative and ocassionally annoying. You see, drunk people tend to be overly happy and excited, so much that they end up losing the plot and stepping on the toes of one or two people. A story is told of a fairly wealthy man in Kampala who tends to drink, get happy, and buy drinks for whoever is within a five meter radius. This obviously comes off as boastful to some but it is something that the rest of us gladly welcome with open arms and empty beer mugs. Such wealthy and generous people define true happiness. If one becomes happy and can not make another person happy, they may as well shove their happiness up their backside. A bit harsh? You bet! And this is why drunk people rank at Number two. They need not be prompted to spread their happiness. They will volunteer to share their happy stories with you, and they may share a little more than they ought to, all in the name of happiness – but who cares? What a wonderful lot of people!

DrunkGospel Truth 

 

  1. Radio Presenters

This is probably going to come as a surprise to many people but radio presenters are some of the happiest people I know on earth. I know this not just because I am one, but because I live around them every day of my life and I see how hilarious and happy their conversations can be. These guys will live crappy lives, be bogged down by loans, have issues of ex-partners and basically be up against the wall in troubles but you will never know this by listening to them. They make their listeners happy without even being prompted. Naturally, they are wired to be perfect actors and to spread happiness despite what may be going on their own lives. What about TV Presenters? Yeah, what about them? I’ll tell you what – they suck! TV presenters are not even half as awesome as radio presenters when it comes to sharing happiness. They often makeup way too much and try too hard to come off as happy even when you can tell from their faces that they are probably hungry or poorly paid. Is this blog about radio presenters vs TV presenters? Probably not; but hey, this shoe seems to fit quite perfectly. Anyway, forget those pretenders.

Back to the subject. Radio Presenters are happy people who do not bash TV Presenters when they have the chance.

From a very young age, I always wanted to be a radio presenter and even when it seemed like my dream was meeting hurdles in the form of lack of opportunity and having a rather uncool voice, I still felt like it was my destiny to be on air. And today, while I may still not have the coolest voice or be the most interesting person on radio, it is safe to say that I am certainly one of the happiest persons around.

responsible-for-my-own-happinessI run things on my own!

They say one can be happy if they decide to be and I have kind of made the decision to be happy. I can no longer enjoy the happiness that children enjoy and neither can I rely on the happiness that drunkards enjoy because that is only momentary and usually ends in a deathly hangover couple with strange messages in the sent folder along with several unexplained body injuries. This therefore leaves me with one option – happiness born out of being a Radio Presenter.

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” ― Abraham Lincoln

Bernard
a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
Follow @beewol on Twitter

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Post WC

For very many people, the past few weeks of World Cup euphoria have offered an experience that can best be described as memorable. Obviously it was not as memorable for the Brazilians, English or Spanish but overall, the World Cup served up some real excitement. In our own backyards, relationships were created, bets won, friendships terminated, allegiances shifted, breakups initiated and basically life lived to the fullest – all because of the football showpiece.

Now that the World Cup has ended, many people have been left confused, dazed and basically non compos mentis because of the absence of football action. Some are already starting to suffer from World Cup withdrawal symptoms seeing as they had gotten used to a Brazilian drubbing here, a Spanish annihilation there or an English humiliation the other side. There is simply no more World Cup and coming to grips with this realisation is going to be a challenge. The World Cup is like a sweet drug that people have gotten addicted to and now need ways to stay away from because the supplier just ran out of stock.

As a person who is an expert at addictions and keeping them in check (try to not think so much about that), I would like to offer a few remedies for all my friends as well as my enemies; the German fans. Here is how you can pre-occcupy yourself during this World Cup aftermath.

Watch plenty of TV

For most sane people, soaps, TV shows and TV series are generally a waste of time and a very effective way of keeping your mind stagnant. They do not add to one’s intellectual sharpness, acumen, wisdom or intuition and neither do they make one any more insightful. They however play a very crucial role in holding friendships together, helping people shave hours off their often boring lives and basically offer people topics of discussion during stale blind dates or during boring house parties. During this time when there is no football going on, give these TV series a shot. True, you may emerge dumber, less insightful and probably addicted to one or two TV shows but you will certainly have helped yourself get over the absence of football. I have to add that you must desist from watching any World Cup replays or you will have a seizure or some kind of delirium because your mind will suddenly demand for more football. Watch TV but stay away from Football.

tv_reading

Make sure the volume is turned up so she doesn’t read anything

Medidate and do Yoga

Specialists at peace and tranquillity recommend meditation and yoga for people who would like to get their thoughts together. You will probably have a rough time trying to forget Mario Gotze’s heartbreaking screamer against Sergio Romero or Tim Cahill’s beauty against Netherlands but Yoga and meditation should just about do the trick. Instead of constantly replaying Lionel Messi’s 90th Minute winner against Iran, you can focus your mind on healthier things like doing Yoga. While doing group Yoga (preferably with females around) you can be sure that football will be the furthest thing on your mind as other softer and more delicious issues will take up that space in your mind ( No – I do not know this from experiencel; I am only working with assumptions). The meditation will help you look at your life more critically so as to identify the mistakes you have made and how you can make other mistakes while trying to correct previous ones.

Pug

Go on and Challenge yourself

Plan for 2016

Every day that passes in Uganda brings us closer to 2016 – the year of reckoning. Whilst the rest of us were busy arguing bitterly during the World Cup, some visionaries were laying strategies for 2016. If you were lucky (or unlucky) to have watched the World Cup on UBC TV, you would have noticed a certain consistently loud message about the Kyankwanzi Resolution. I am yet to understand why and how such a video even runs on a National Broadcaster but that is besides the point. The video simply begs the question – if other people are getting ready for 2016, what are you doing? World Cup is over; start drawing up plans for your 2016 manifesto. Plan for how many bars of soap you will supply in your constituency and how many sacks of sugar you will need to get the local leadership on your side. Look at which banks have favourable loan deals to help you cover your campaings. You could also create a video that may or may not talk of you as a demi-god who everyone must vote if they want to stay alive and then you can have this video run on UBC Tv.

HiRes

Start planning your political career

Work on your relationships

It is highly likely that for many people, the World Cup dealt a huge blow to their relationships with friends, family and lovers. Now that it is all over, such people should now resort their energies to fixing those broken relationships. If you and your partner broke up or filed for a divorce on grounds that you two could not agree on whether Messi is better than Ronaldo, maybe it is about time you called a truce. Most footballers in the world are now on holiday – take a hint. Free your mind from the slavery of football and focus on making those around you happy. Get home in time to have dinner with your wife, make that phone call to the grandmother and pay a friend a visit. With the World Cup out of the way, you can now go forth and multiply because you now have the time for coitus. Don’t disappoint the missus by saying you are occupied. The most popular sporting event is over; make some time to engage in intimacy with your partner. It is the least you can do after ignoring them for the entire duration of the World Cup.

174611

People like Wenger are out there striking killer poses – join them!

Other things

There are about 92 other things you can engage in now that the World Cup is over. Some of those that I haven’t mentioned above include starting a cult, joining the army, becoming a musician, practicing for Big Brother Nominations and stalking an ex partner.

football

 *Yawn* when does the season start again?

The point is – World Cup is over and we must work hard to forget it.

“Good habits are worth being fanatical about.”  ― John Irving

Bernard
a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
Follow @beewol on Twitter