The Single Case

One of the reasons why human beings were placed on this earth (at least according to Christian Teaching) is so we (they) can multiply and fill the world. This essentially means that every human being has a role to play in the multiplication process. Prior to this multiplication process, there is meant to be some kind of mixing and matching that each person must go through to identify the person with whom they can easily, safely and successfully multiply.

There are those who take the multiplication a little too seriously and end up creating mini-armies of offspring bearing similar names and proudly calling one gentleman daddy. Then there are those who are somewhat constrained because of what Scientists call barrenness, infertility and sterility.

Generally speaking though, one can rightly assume that everyone must have someone who was created for them to multiply with. This then begets the question – why are some people still single?

As you think about the possibilities, allow me offer a few plausible reasons why this is the case.

The Universe is still watching you

If you are of age but are still single, it is possible that the Universe is still assessing what might occur if someone of the opposite sex were thrown at you as a life-long partner. And so it shall present you with people who you may end up dating but still break up with. This is all a test and once the universe ascertains that you are ready for a partner then you, my single friend, shall have a partner. It is also likely the universe does not trust you around any person of the opposite sex. To protect the human race, the universe must pull some strange moves like deny some people partners because they would otherwise set the human race several steps back if they got hooked. This may seem negative but here is the silver lining – the universe probably understands your expensive and unique taste and therefore is taking a while to find you the perfect match. People who find their match right away can be said to have cheap taste that can be figured out quickly. You are different. Wear that badge of honour with pride and glee.

????????????????????

YAY!!! I am single!

You’re too cool for the opposite sex

I know what everyone must be wondering at this moment. How does one become too cool for the opposite sex? I too have no idea. I just know that there are people who have chosen the single path because they feel like no one can handle their awesomeness. They may occasionally be seen in the company of people of the opposite sex but they will generally not want to be tied down by relationships, dating or marriage for that matter. Such people choose to remain single because they love their space, freedom and above all they don’t want anyone to tell them how they should leave their toiled seat. There are moments when they too get lonely and begin to scroll down their phoneboooks in search of a quick fix but this only happens on a few occasions and even then, they are usually half drunk and unaware of what they are doing. Such people will mostly be seen throwing sexist remarks around and acting like the opposite sex is nothing but a rag with which to mop the world. If you are one of such people then you can safely stay in your corner and wait to explain to the Universe why you have chosen to be cooler than everyone else.

You gat this

You feel like you gat this!

You lack the basic skills and qualities

This is probably the most brutal of reasons why single people still exist but is probably the most valid reason there is. You see, each human being has a set of skills that should help them survive in this world. Some however lack the set of skills to help them jump out of the singles’ zone. It is said that if you want people of the opposite sex to notice you and consider dating you the first thing you should do is put yourself out there. Well, I know people who have spent a fair share of their lives hanging themselves out for whoever cares to see but somehow no one has taken the bait. Now before one starts dismissing my allegation that they lack the skills and qualities, allow me forward an argument. Have you ever met good looking people who have everything going for them; except a good relationship? Well, I know many such people. As harsh as it may seem, I have come to the conclusion that such people lack the skills to help them find partners. No one wants an incompetent multiplication partner so it would be nice if you polished up on your skills as you attempt to find that partner. Read a few books here and there, talk to people back and forth and generally stop locking yourself up at home to play video games all weekend. Get out of the house!

window

Get out there and let them see you

Disclaimer

I am very confident that a number of single people are going to start hurling stones at me and calling me all sorts of names because I am making it seem like being single is a crime. Listen, being single is no crime. In fact, if you can, boast about it. Let the world see that no one is good enough for you yet and you are weighing your options and waiting for the Universe to throw a suitable partner your way. Go ahead and change your bio to ‘Too Cool for All of You’. While you are at it, wear your singlehood like a badge of honour. I say this because when the time comes for you to give up this badge of honour because you suddenly have to start sharing a bed with another human being every day of your life, then you will realize that being single wasn’t a very bad thing after all. When the time comes for you to quarrel over the toilet seat, the colour of curtains, the type of house and the name of your offspring then you will appreciate the Universe’s delay in finding you a partner.

team_single_

For now, sit back, relax and enjoy the single ride. After all, you are alone – there is no one to complain about the speed limit. Have a blast.

“I’m single because I was born that way.” ― Mae West

Bernard
a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
Follow @beewol on Twitter

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One thought on “The Single Case

  1. Pingback: Thank you for blogging | Sibo

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