The English dictionary describes the word Pride as “a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction …” of course it goes on to add something about how this pleasure or satisfaction is derived but right now, I am interested in the pleasure and satisfaction bit. There are very many things in this world that give me pleasure and satisfaction. Some of these aren’t exactly the kind I am keen to share with the rest of the world but I quietly grin within myself with untold gratification.
Oh but some of the things that make me proud …. mehn!
Similarly, there are many (widely accepted) things that make me proud and give me deep pleasure and extreme satisfaction. Some of them include supporting Manchester United, SC Villa and Uganda Cranes, seeing a close friend get married or succeed in getting his wife knocked up, bumping into an old friend who still remembers my name, being a first born son to my parents and helping a little child do their homework. These are some of the little things that warm my heart and give me reason to feel proud.
The one thing that tops the list and probably makes me soak up with tears of pride is the fact that I am Ugandan. Yes – I love this country to the depth of my existence. Someone reading this will probably imagine that I have a relative in a top government position therefore I have every (financial and social) reason to be a proud Ugandan but far from it; I am one of the lesser known citizens with little or no connection to the nobles of this country. However, the pride that I carry within me is the kind that cannot be questioned, doubted or second guessed.
I shall be so kind as to share my reasons for this pride.
I have little choice in the matter
The truth of the matter is that I am a proud Ugandan partly because I was born here and really there is not much I can do to change that fact. It is very likely that if I had been born in Myanmar, Congo, Japan or Zimbabwe I’d still be a proud citizen of that country. Before anyone can start to call me fickle in my allegiance to Uganda, I have to add that now that my mind is open and I can make a choice to revoke my Ugandan Citizenship and adopt citizenship elsewhere, I have chosen to remain Ugandan. That should say something about my allegiance and pride despite my loud and clear assertion that I had little choice in the matter. I was born here without my consent but if I could change anything about my birth, I would probably just change the colour of sheets that were on the bed when I was born. NO; I will not tell you what colour the sheets were!
Little Children really have limited choices
Have you heard Ugandans Speak?
I am a person who is keen and appreciative of phonetics, accents and articulation, and I can confidently say that Uganda is the one place where perfect speech is born, cultivated and harvested. No matter the language, Ugandans will never fail to impress when it comes to breaking it down through speech. Listen to two Iteso exchange sweet nothings and you will hear what I am talking about. Drop in on two Batoro share a rough joke about their Muganda neighbour and you will see things from my point of view. Eavesdrop on an Acholi man telling off his stubborn daughters and you will share this sentiment that I speak of. Go on; listen to Ugandans speak and you will be blown away. These people have the most eargasmic speech patterns in the whole world. Forget that Xhosa Clicking or the Nigerian accentuation. Forget the American nose speech or the Chinese Mandarin flow. Right here in Uganda is where perfect and rich speech belongs. Travel from one end of the country to the other and indulge the native folk in random speech and I can guarantee you will be blown away. And have you heard us speak English? WOW! Just WOW! True, we may have a Mirundi murdering the Queen’s language here or a Sseya raping Her Majesty’s lingo but overall, we do speak some very fine English this side of the world.
One or two Universities might need to have this put up
Ugandan Girls run the good looks business
Do not be deceived by the somewhat unconvincing Ugandan girls who feature at the Miss World beauty pageant or the slightly off colour contestants we send to Big Brother. Those are just but our average people. We are very beautiful people here in Uganda and we are not afraid to stake claim. At the risk of sounding biased, I will say this with extreme confidence; Ugandan ladies are some of the finest ladies in the world. And this is not just because they are mostly drop dead gorgeous and well curved but also because a good number have got brains to match the rather killer looks. You will see them at a distance, get blown away by their break-taking natural forms and then get close and get dumbfounded by their brilliance, humour and intellect. Uganda women are simply the truth! And I haven’t said anything about how they dance like strippers, walk like models and sing like fat women. And you know what they say about good dancers when it comes to matters of the sack; they can dance their way to an orgasm with so much ease one wonders why other women even bother chasing after Ugandan men. We are all taken by queens who are too good at the game the rules have to be changed – just for them.
Look at this dangerously gorgeous Ugandan Specimen over here
We have a wonderful small little family here
Uganda is fairly a small country despite the fact that we are in the business of working hard to over populate this exploding little piece of land. This small size of the country means that we are not as many as the citizens of other countries. This essentially means that we are a closer knit country and we tend to have relations spread all over the country. Once you have gone through the education system from the very bottom all the way to University, it is rare for you to go a day without meeting someone from your past. That is how closely knit a society we are. Also, when you do something in private with one person and they share it with another person, there is a huge chance the whole country will get to know it. We share information with zeal and enthusiasm. We live to gossip and occasionally we gossip to live. We create whatsapp groups, Facebook groups and Twitter Cliques to discusss our neighbours, work mates, ex partners and relatives.
And this is how it usually starts
But of course there are other reasons
Before I started writing out this Blog, I had well over 45 reasons I had jotted down to prove that my Ugandan Pride was never in question and some of them include the Uganda Cranes who are always almost qualifying for the AFCON until mathematics happens, the wonderful education system that will let you graduate with beautiful English and numerous friends but no job, the excess peace that we enjoy so much that we want to export some of it to Somalia and Congo as well as the great entertainement scenet that is bursting with too many upcoming artists they need a political party. Let’s just say there is a lot of madness, confusion and near mayhem in Uganda but I love every little single bit of it and I would never trade it in for anything else. So as Independence day closes in, I would like to take this opportunity to remind my Government that we may exchange insults, argue, draw weapons, even make empty threats, but ultimately, I love this beautiful country Uganda; the Pearl of Africa.
I’ll have one of these flying around for a while
“Patriotism is, fundamentally, a conviction that a particular country is the best in the world because you were born in it….” ― George Bernard Shaw
The Talkative Rocker
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