On 23rd August 2014 Uganda was blessed to have his Excellency the President of the Republic of Kenya Uhuru Kenyatta who after being hosted to a sumptuous dinner at State House Nakasero by Mr. 1986 addressed 3000 Youths. He then went ahead to offer himself for a live-bullets-no-bullet-proof Q&A under the hashtag #AskUhuru. The entire event was part of the 4th Edition of the Pakasa Forum organized by Vision Group of Companies under the party-givership of selfie King Robert Kabushenga. If for some strange reason one did not follow the proceedings on the day, there is reason to believe that one was away on holiday from planet earth because the conversation was pretty much everywhere; on TV, in the papers and online.
I was lucky to be among the guys who attended the Pakasa Forum not as an unemployed and frustrated youth (like a few I knew) but as a Digital Expert keen to follow and share the conversation online. Now, while most of my work involved sharing the conversation on Social Media, I was also keen to engage in a few other things like dashing back and forth from the bathrooms because of the excessive water I consumed, looking around to try and understand why the youths were dressed the way they were dressed, constantly reminding a friend of mine in Texas, USA, that Uhuru Kenyatta is not the president of Africa and re-connecting my laptop to the wifi that seemed to be wonky the whole time. I therefore didn’t quite get the time to ask the questions I needed to ask the big man.
Despite all this, I was careful to have jotted down most, if not all my questions. And even if Mr. Uhuru does not see them, I shall go ahead and share my leftover questions with you, my people. Maybe, just maybe, someone will read them and forward them for answering. Thank you in advance kind but still anonymous person.
Question 1 – Is it really necessary to be married while in power?
This is probably the furthest one can get from the theme of the day ‘Creating Opportunities for Youth in East Africa’ but I’d like to think that the Q&A was not restricted to issues within the theme – or was it? I shared this question with one or two other people who promised to forward it but clearly it appears the little investment I made of 2 beers prior to the event were not bribe enough for my question to make it through to you. Mr. Uhuru, do presidents also have hearts? Do they have emotions and things like that? I always imagined that they only have wives as a matter of constitutional requirement but if they had their way, wives would probably be the last item on the ‘things-to-have’ list while in power. Have you heard of our friend Mr. Olara Otunnu? He continues to enjoy his single life even though he has (had) designs on the presidency. Do you think he has any hopes or should he go and hunt for a potential wife before hitting the campaign trail again?
Question 2 – Who picks out your wardrobe?
I’m no fashion expert and I’m no guru when it comes to style but I am just curious about the wardrobe thing. Do you wake up in the morning, tell your wife what schedule you have and then allow her to pick out what you will wear? Or is there some Government entity that is tasked with the President’s wardrobe? If there is an entity, is it possible that this entity can work for the whole East Africa? Our president, your friend, His Excellency Mr. 1986 has a good sense of fashion and so does the Rwandan President, the Tanzanian President, the Burundian President and the South Sudan president. However, I imagine if we are to fast track this whole East African integration, it may be pertinent that we have one central place where the fashion for presidents will be decided. If your dress code on Saturday was anything to go by, it is safe to assert that your wardrobe manager is doing a fine job. Any chance you can give him / her a raise and a promotion to handle East Africa? However, in case it is your wife who picks them out for you, just look into her eyes, smile and tell her – I love you honey. I am sure she will get the message.
Question 3 – How do you do this Social Media thing?
Mr. President, I have noticed with extreme approval that your presence on Social Media is quite commendable. For a president whose schedule seems to be packed 24/7 it is impressive that you have time to Tweet, Facebook and visit a few other sites here and there. Have you heard of instagram? My user name is Beewol over there and I have a few not-so- bad-looking pictures you can scroll through. Don’t hesitate to LIKE them because as you may already know, success in today’s world is measured by LIKES and RETWEETS. Speaking of Twitter, have you ever had your account hacked into? How is your DM set up by the way? How many DMs do you receive per day anyway? I assume you receive many from single ladies, unemployed youth, disgruntled politicians, crazy Alshabaab goons and old school mates looking to touch base. The hustle is real.
Question 4 – Have you heard of Hurricane Jennifer?
We have a whirlwind in Kampala that has taken over the city in the recent past. When you came here on Saturday, you might have noticed that most of the areas you passed were neat, tidy and quite clean. Most of this is because of Hurricane Jennifer. This hurricane has been sweeping over Kampala for a while now and several heads have rolled while others have been chopped off their bodies for refusal to comply and adhere to certain standards. Do you have such a whirlwind in Nairobi? I hear that in Nairobi the cops do not tolerate any nonsense in the big beautiful city. I assume it is because you too have a hurricane of sorts that side. Back here, hurricane Jennifer has recently made people have sleepless nights and I wonder if you have such instances in your country. Once again, since we are talking about going East African, can we adopt this Hurricane to take over all our Cities in East Africa? I have a feeling we will grow with ruthless momentum.
Finally, I usually share a quote at the end of every Blog Post. Will you then allow me to share one that has been excerpted from your keynote speech on Saturday? I am sharing it because I felt like it was so deep and full of power. Thank you in advance.
“East Africa will not be built by anybody other than us.” – Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta, C.G.H., President of Kenya and commander in chief of the Defence Forces of Kenya
The Talkative Rocker
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