Telecom Divorce

Technology has undoubtedly become the greatest frontier in the struggle to advance and improve our existence on earth. Tasks can now be accomplished faster, people can communicate easier and life generally seems simplified – at least on the surface. Because of technology, distance is now just another eight letter word that has lost meaning over the years, along with other eight letter words like humanity, marriage, learning, kindness, courtesy, original, merciful, trusting and morality.


Another 8 letter word that could do with revival

In terms of communication, it is safe to say that mobile phones have helped us uncover a world of efficiency and speed we never imagined possible. Mobile Telecom companies have wasted no time in cashing in on the madness and along the way, they have somewhat gone back on some of their original promises. When you are joining any network, you will be told about the cheap call rates, the clear network signals, the great data packages and generally a truckload of benefits. Not long after, you realise that you were sold a raw deal, albeit after getting hooked to the network.

I have been a victim of this raw deal and I would like to share my very sad experience with my service provider who for obvious reasons will not be mentioned lest I become a moving target. I will only mention them when I have effectively finalised my divorce with the said network – something I am working on quite rigorously.

The Wonky Internet Connection

For someone whose life is substantially wasted on the internet, there are few things as frustrating as failing to access the internet when you otherwise have plenty of data. It is likely that in a few years time, I will have no problem sleeping hungry, having no clothes on my back or being impotent – as long as I have access to the internet. The addiction to the internet is not something I am proud of – heck I think there is a fairly hot place waiting for me in Hell because of my addiction to the internet. However, I feel like it is my right to have access to the internet especially since I pay through the nose to be able to access the service. I am very rarely in remote places where internet access is understadably wonky. However, I can not start to count the number of times I have failed to access the internet because my service provider is undergoing ‘routine maintenance’ or having ‘technical problems’. Soon, I will find myself taking a leisurly stroll to the said service provider’s premises and hurling a brick at one of the windows. Might not solve any problem but will certainly help me release much collected negative energy that has build up over the years. Total frustration!


sssllloooowww internet sucks!

Then the Clueless Customer Care

The last phone call I made to my mobile telecom service provider’s customer care lasted exactly 18 minutes and 26 seconds. 16 of these minutes were spent ‘waiting for the next available consultant’ and the other 2 minutes were spent trying to figure out why my phone was playing games on me. I am a very patient person – most times. I could have waited even half an hour for ‘the next avaialble consultant’ but what I cannot stand is a customer care consultant who picks up your call and makes  it seem like you have no idea what you are talking about. For starters, by the time I call customer care, I’ve sort of explored all possible avenues for a solution. I absolutely dislike calling customer care so I only do it as a last resort. Half the time they too are clueles and the other half they are telling you to do what you have already done 4 times over – restart the phone (that is the standard solution to over 50% of phone related problems). After I have explained what my problem is and the other person is simply taking me around in circles, I kind of lose my patience. I was brought up by my parents to be civil and not utter harsh words no matter how frustrated or angry I may be. Telecom customer care individuals test my resolve quite a lot. Most times I pass with flying colours but only because I cannot reach through the phone to break a few bones or crash a jaw.

bad customer service card

Well done guys, well done indeed!

Then there is the rapture

On a number of occasions, I have been scared into thinking the worst could have happened to someone simply because their phone is off. Most times, as it turns out, the phone is actually very much on but the network has just stubbornly volunteered to switch off someone’s number. Other times, you have a conversation with someone, hang up, remember you were supposed to say something else, call them right back and suddenly ‘the number you have dialed is not on the network’ or ‘you have dialed a number that is not in service’. What the hell!! Did the rapture just happen within a few seconds of the other person hanging up or what? I would rather call up someone and be subjected to a bogus country music ring tone as opposed to calling and being told that the number I have dialed is a wrong number even after I have cross checked 8 times!



We just talked and suddenly the number is wrong? Are you kidding me!

Then the Messages!

One of the reasons why my phone is an absolute problem in my life right now is because of unsolicited text messages. It has become apparent today that sending unsolicited text messages is one of the most effective ways of bombarding people with information that they would otherwise rather not receive, given a choice. The number of times I have been told that I am the day’s lucky person in an SMS gambling scheme are way too many I am starting to think that maybe I am not so special after all. I am not a gambling person and so the odds that I will actually follow the instructions are as slim as the odds that I will grow an afro. I requested that my number be removed from the list of ‘lucky customers’ who receive the daily reminders of great chances at gambling. My number was removed but after a few days, I was right back up there with millions of other ‘special’ customers – receiving my daily dose of lucky messages with a chance to win big. Useless!!. If that is not reason enough for me to leave a network, then nothing is.

IMG_20140428_150633I am tired of this rubbish!

I could go on and on about the raw deal that these Telecom Companies have sold me but God knows my voice is just but a whisper in a crowded place. So I’ll patiently give myself one extra month with the said network and if nothing better happens (which is likely) I will quietly leave the network and see what else other networks have to offfer.

“The telephone is the greatest nuisance among conveniences, the greatest convenience among nuisances.” ― Robert Staughton Lynd

a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
Follow @beewol on Twitter 


6 thoughts on “Telecom Divorce

  1. And all along I thought I was alone.You have no idea how many times I have failed 2 load MBs when I have plenty of hrs to surf away.Ian also going 2 give them a month.

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