In February 1966, the duo of James Brown and Betty Jean Newsome co-wrote a song ‘It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World’, a song that James Brown later performed in a studio somewhere in New York. The song was a commercial success and even though the Rolling Stone Magazine called it “biblically chauvinistic”, it generally had positive reviews. In the song, Brown attributed most of the successes of the modern world to the man but added that all these would mean nothing without a woman or a girl. Thirty six years later, a one Orville Richard Burrell better known as Shaggy released a hit song ‘Strength of a Woman’. Here, Shaggy heaped praises on, and lauded the woman for her beauty, power and sexiness. Along the way many songs, poems, movies and stories have been released and it has become apparent that women are the new rulers of the world. In the words of a one bodacious female representative Beyonce, women actually ‘run the world’.
Any sane person will agree that the era when women were underdogs has long gone. This has effectively been replaced by an era where women battle for survival in the same ring with men, women challenge men to street fights and they generally hurl threats, insults and dares to their male counterparts without a fear. Let’s just say there is a lot more competition today between the male and female species. Women are kicking ass all over the world and taking names.
Competition is healthy, right?
Wrong; very wrong! Unless you are assured of winning, there is no reason why you should be getting into competition. Forget what people say about competition sharpening you or making you work twice as hard. The competition between the male species and female species for dominance is one that can only end with one winner – the female. You see, as much as men like to think that we are in control of things, women actually are in control. Women are way smarter than men; they are more calculative and are certainly inclined to make more progressive decisions. True, they might make an impulsive decision here or a PMS-induced decision there ere but overall, women will keep the world spinning a lot longer than men will.
Remember when we made so much noise about women emancipation? Remember when people got bonus points prior to joining University by virtue of the fact that they went through monthly bleeding routines? Well, it is about time we did that all over again – but this time for the men. It is time for e-man-cipation of men! Women have consistently proven over the years that they are better at management, policy making, ruthlessness and ambition. And now that every company, organization and entity is backing females over males, it is safe to say that men might as well be sent away from the high table sooner than we think. Gone are the days when wives stayed home to clean and cook for their husbands. Today, the only reason the woman will stay home is because she is enjoying the maternity leave after which she will fly straight back to her office desk to sign cheques. We are seeing more and more stay-home-dads today not because men are suddenly swarmed with oestrogen but because women are actually taking over.
Is there a problem with women being on top of things?
Not at all; as a matter of fact, the woman-on-top position is a very wonderful position. It gives the woman control and enables her to make the man dance to her tune – never mind the fact that she does most of the twisting and turning. And before people’s minds can go crashing in the gutter, allow me to explain why I have no problem with women being on top. Research has shown that projects that are headed by women tend to achieve a lot more and a lot faster than projects that are headed by men. Did I just make that up? Yes. But surely it does make sense. Women know how to get the most out of the least. Men on the other hand can be quite extravagant and will not hesitate to be boastful along the way – something that is very dangerous and pathetic.
What exactly am I saying?
I guess all I am saying is that men will not last to see the end of this battle of the sexes. Women will outlast the men and women will eventually run the show. As already mentioned, this is no problem because it will probably be for the best if women take over. There might be a few glitches here and there with countries going to war over colours of their flags or alliances being made between countries because of similar shopping habits. However, on a whole, women are likely to make the world spin a little faster. My only worry is that along the way, men will be relegated to the role of drone men – purely for sexual satisfaction, unable to sting and utterly useless after sex. You see, the nature of a drone bee is such that should the drone succeed in mating, he will die almost instantly because his penis and all other associated abdominal tissues are suddenly ripped from his body after sexual intercourse. This is what we shall become.
Men will soon need to move around advertising their services
As such, on behalf of all men, I would like to appeal to the females to have mercy on us. The competition is getting really hot and you females are totally tearing it (and us) apart. We apologize for any awful things we may have done or said in the past to insinuate or claim that we run the show. We are fully aware that you currently run the show and we only beg that you do not relegate us to the background. Requesting for e-man-cipation might seem too forward but under the circumstances, it is the best we can do. We know that sooner than later you will need us for nothing other than sexual pleasure and as much as this sounds like a good deal for us, we beg that you do not rip off our sexual parts soon as your needs have been covered. We also recognize that outside of sex and conception, there is not much you need us for. The warmth can be gotten from the teddy bears you hug every night, the conversation can be gotten from your fellow females – they converse better than us men. And the companionship can be gotten from the numerous cats, dogs and other strange pets you take up. It is in light of this that I plead on behalf of all men; I beg that women forgive us for our transgressions and allow us to be a part of this race.
Here is something for you to chew on …
“Women saw everything, and they thought about everything. The result was wisdom. For men, this was a frightening state of affairs, which is why they insist on holding on to power.” ― Tamar Myers, The Witch Doctor’s Wife
The Talkative Rocker
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