The general rule about the life we lead is that no human being enters this world all-knowing. Therefore along the way we ask as many questions as we can so we can build our wealth of knowledge. Over time however, it has become quite clear that questions usually do a lot more than just elicit information. As a matter of fact, there are questions that are meant to send out a specific message. My teacher of English back in High School, a one Mr. Kategera, once told me that when you ask a question, you better brace yourself for the response otherwise you are better off remaining ignorant. Several years later I now see a lot of sense in what he was saying. There are a number of fundamental questions that I have realised elicit a lot more than just information. Some are rhetorical questions and others are really just ordinary information-seeking questions.
I therefore present five fundamental questions that are not as straightforward as one would imagine.
1. Who do you think you are?
I don’t quite remember anyone asking this question with the intention of actually hearing a correct response. Very recently one of my friends Patrick (Not real name) had a run in with the law and was having a one-on-one with a Police man who was taking down his statement. After taking down all his details and asking a few extra questions, he threatened Patrick with jail time because my friend ‘was being stubborn’. Patrick then calmly told him that he needed to call his lawyer. At that point the afande asked Patrick the award winning question, “Who do you think you are?” It was probably safer for my friend Patrick to simply not answer the question but my loud-mouthed friend was not having any of it. Let’s just say they got into an exchange of words and before Patrick knew it, he was inside the coolers – with robbers and rapists. He was released a few hours later only after a detailed and extensive apology to the Afande.
2. Do You Love Me?
Notably one of the most dangerous questions of all time, this question is more of a trap than an actual question. It has been asked more times than it has been answered and not just because it has no answer but because it is extremely difficult, let alone tricky. Experts at love will tell you that if someone asks this question, they already have doubts about your love for them. When a woman asks a man this question in most cases he ends up saying much more than he ought to …and then not answering the question anyway. Some of the notable responses include “Why would you even ask that?”, “You think I don’t love you?” and my personal favourite … a blank stare. Gentlemen, when she asks you this question, start apologising for the mistakes you have made because chances are; she is about to finish you off with some poisonous drink she prepared.
Very rarely does someone tick the second option
3. Are You Stupid?
This one is no more a question than the numbers 2,4 and 6 are odd numbers. It is usually meant to show someone that they indeed are being dumb and they ought to snap out of their stupid tendencies as soon as possible. It is usually asked during times of shock when someone does something extremely dumb and utterly foolish. It is one of those questions that’s never been (and probably never will be) answered in the affirmative. It is the queen bee of all rhetorical questions because it comes with a sting. When someone asks this question, you are expected to re-think what you have just done or said. However, a good number of people take offense more times than I can care to count. In fact, this question has been known to start fights, cause melees and lead to death. Killer question indeed.
4. So What?
This is a question that is a game changer because when asked, it means that whatever you have been saying is suddenly meaningless, useless and totally irrelevant. Oftentimes when you are having a fairly intelligent argument and someone stops you to ask ‘So what?’ you may be temped to plunge a blunt knife into their belly – assuming you had one. Since that is illegal, you refrain and hope hope that they take back the question. But usually they will ask this question and then stare you in the face … as if to say, ‘You ain’t got no blunt knife so there’s nothing you can do. Deal with it!’ Not a very good question to throw around especially if you are dealing with short tempered people who have no liking for backing their arguments.
5. Are You Single?
A very suggestive question this one. When you are asked this question, you are required to boldly and confidently speak the truth. You see, this is one of those questions that will corner you so much that you have very little breathing space. And unlike many other questions, it actually demands a correct response. Someone will ask this question to ascertain whether or not they should carry on with the plan to woo or seduce you. In case you answer with the affirmative, you risk scaring them off because clearly you are not ready to mingle. Sometimes though, saying you aren’t single is a sign of boldness which apparently some ladies find attractive so they will want to purse you even further. Another killer question.
And this is usually the case
Apart from these Questions, there are many other fundamental questions that are fly around regularly. Some of them include; do you know who I am? Wana fool around? Do I look fat? Is it in? Do you know me? Are you sleeping? Will you marry me? among others.
Go on and ask as many questions as you feel like but always brace yourself for the response.
“Questions that will free you might have answers that will imprison you again.” ― Nema Al-Araby
The Talkative Rocker
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