Gratitude

In everyone’s life, there are things that one is constantly thankful for because they either make life easier or more tolerable. It may seem cliché to SAY that there is reason to be thankful for the little things in life but the truth is without some of these little things, our lives would be an entire mess. Naturally when you are handed a piece of paper and told to write down a list of things you are thankful for, you might run out of paper before you even get started on the things that you think are a big deal. I personally have several things I know I am very thankful for and I always remind myself to thank God not just for these things, but for many more, including those I cannot remember or I am too embarrassed to thank God for. I know everyone does have a list of things they have gratitude for but allow me to share my list with you.

Air Freshener, Deodorants and Perfumes

One of the reasons why we are able to hang around others for extended spells and not throw up or fall terribly sick is because of things like air fresheners, deodorants and perfumes. The Ugandan weather can tend to be so ruthless and serve you up with extreme heat quiet often. On such occasions it is mandatory to factor sweating into your daily routine. This essentially means that you should brace yourself for all kinds of odors and stenches emanating from hours of sweating of yourself and those around you. However, thanks to a certain Tapputi-Belatekallim, the first recorded perfume-maker from Babylonian Mesopotamia, we have deodorants and perfumes. This woman used flowers, oil, and calamus along with cyperus, myrrh, and balsam to create some kind of mixture that would later be improved upon to bring forth modern day perfume. Why go out smelling like a he-goat when you can take a shower, wear some perfume, and head out smelling like a bouquet of freshly picked flowers? At this point, deodorants and air fresheners deserve a mention too for the salvation they bring unto our nostrils.

gasmask

Imagine having to wear this evertime you are stepping out of the house

Happy Hour

For anyone who has been to a traditional good old bar, there are no two words that can create a buzz as much as “Happy Hour”. A few double words that come close would probably be “Pretty waitress”, “Cold beer” or “Free Drinks”. However, “happy hour” is just the joy of any bar regular. For the bar-phobic people who are clueless about happy hour, well , happy hour is that wonderful time of the evening when the bar slashes the prices of its drinks in an attempt to lure guests to the bar a little earlier than usual. It is traditionally supposed to last just an hour but due to the awesomeness of barmen, it often lasts two or even three hours depending on the bar. What usually happens is that folks rush to the bar at happy hour, stock up on beer and then sit back, relax and enjoy the cheap beer without having to worry about depleted wallets or emptied bank accounts. The person who came up with the concept of happy hour deserves a monument in his honor alongside that of the person who came up with the idea that just because it is happy hour does not mean it must last one hour.

HappyHour(9)Look out for signs like these at your nearest bar. 

Free Wifi

As a person who spends a good chunk of my life online, there are not so many things that can give me an online orgasm as much as free wifi. The amount of money that one spends on data nowadays is so alarming that if one decided to make a monetary computation, one would instantly throw away one’s gadgets – phone, lap top et al. However, one takes solace in the fact that in many of the cool places around town there is free wifi. Usually when I walk into a bar, hotel, restaurant, office or just about any other decent place, the first question I ask is if there are female attendants – I prefer to be handled by females. The next question is whether they have free wifi. If both questions are answered with a ‘Yes’, you can pretty much shove whatever poor quality service you have down my throat and I might not even care. One might argue that since I can afford a few MBs per day I should have no reason to hunt for free wifi. However, when you are going to spend a fair share of your miserable day online, a few MBs are not what you need. What you need is free wifi so you can be on Twitter, yahoomail, Gmail, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Foursquare, LinkedIn, Whatsapp all at the same time. Besides, some of the apps we download are abnormally huge, one cannot risk using one’s MBs or else one would download one app per month – times are hard you know.

Free-WiFi-LogoWhenever I see this I get an orgasm!

Women

In all my years on this earth, I have never come across anything as complex yet wonderful, irrational yet understanding and whiny yet supportive as a woman. Whether it is an irresponsible mother, a nagging sister, a judgmental wife, a bitter ex girlfriend, an unattainable crush, or a friend’s loose wife, any woman is simply heaven-sent. I usually hear men complain about their wives while they are out hanging but when the time comes to leave the bar, there can only be one destination; to the woman back at home. Women are so important in our lives that we would probably not exist without them. And not just because they give birth to us and all, but they look after us, they nurture us, they keep us grounded by threatening us with no sex, they cook for us and they basically make us who we are. They even bear us children who look like us. Women are the reason men are what we are. Women make us work hard, so we can spend all our money on them, which is good because where else would we spend it; certainly not on animals; unless of course you are from a certain part of Kenya. Women are the reason this world continues to spin on its axis and they are the X factor in this thing called life. Every morning when I wake up, I thank God for women; those in my life, those in my friends’ lives and those in my friends’ friends’ lives. I thank God for all women – even those who are creeped out when I stalk them.

beautiful_black_brides

Take your pick!

The Human Brain

It is safe to say that without the human brain, there is not much use for the human body or even life, as we know it. My dysfunctional brain is able to spew all sorts of bogus ideas, some of which make it to this Blog and others remain tucked away in the secret and safe confines of the brain. The human brain, no matter how dumb or incapacitated it may be, is the sole reason why all other body processes are able to function well. I know there are credible and legitimate arguments for other important body parts like the gonads, lungs, breasts (specifically of women) or heart but overall, I would say that the brain is quite important. The human brain is the reason this Blog even runs on Mondays and not on Saturdays or God forbid on Sunday when I am usually hang over and at my worst in terms of thinking. It is the reason I can churn out useless, nonsensical and utterly ridiculous things every now and again and not get stones thrown at me. The human brain is the reason I know when to stalk a lady and when to keep my distance. This human brain right here is something I am very thankful for.

I implore you my dear friends, if you have anything you have gratitude for, feel free to drop it in the comment section below.

Otherwise, have yourselves a wonderful week and here is your weekly dose of inspiration.

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.” ― Alphonse Karr

Yours truly

Bernard

a.k.a Beewol

The Talkative Rocker

Follow @beewol on Twitter

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12 thoughts on “Gratitude

  1. I have gratitude for the fact that the FRIED CHICKEN revolution has finally kicked off in Uganda. Not only do I have the ability to eat as many different (but yet the same in many ways) types of chicken, but also can now a add the title of MR to my name, get a feel for KENTUCKY while at it and also get the chance to get lucky during my TONIGHT adventures. Oh and also watch the free to air channel TV CHICKEN (PG is advised). Ha-ha-ha.
    Nice article Beewol

  2. Women…women…plus the happy hour. Nothing feels like taking that cold Guinness at half price…would like to be thankful to Underwear though…can’t imagine walking around with swinging goodies…

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