Hello December!

According to the Gregorian calendar, December is the last month of the year which ideally means that it is a month of culmination, conclusion and climax. It is a time when people love to go through transformations, most of which are for the better. It is also a month when one can finally look back at the past dozen months and smile about their achievements or mourn over a wasted year. It is equally the month when people start to make plans for the New Year with a hope that there might be a raise, the landlord will be more patient, the ex partner will reconsider their exit and there will be fewer lost souls.

Most of us have grown up thinking of December as the month for nothing but celebration, party and fun. This is partly due to the fact that it is the one time when everyone seems to shed off their vile and ugly character and momentarily wear a mask of good will and good cheer. It is a month of immense pretense and absolute acting. I therefore rise up, take off my hat and say Hello to the month of December.

The Spirit of Generosity

December is the one month when many people are willing givers. Across the stretch of the eleven months preceding December, it will be a cold day in hell before someone offers you a slice of bread even though you are starving. They will either demand something in return or just look you in face and give you a straight NO! In the month of December, the trend changes drastically. People are more generous, friends are more welcoming, banks give out more loans and everyone is generally just busy giving things out. People who have birthdays in December are probably the luckiest people because they often get the most expensive presents because people are not worried about the damage the wallet will have or how much is left in the coffers. In the month of December the gods of generosity awake from their eleven-month slumber and infect everyone with extreme generosity. This is the month of generosity.

Extended Family Crowds

A good number of African families are extended families. In December, you will most likely be able to see a good chunk of the family in one place for once. During this month, the school holiday is a little longer than usual and this is so that you can have enough time to meet all those long lost brothers and sisters from other mothers and fathers. A man and his 4 wives and 29 children will all converge in one neighborhood to celebrate the fertility that Africa is blessed with. He may occasionally be heard cussing and wondering why he has so many little younglings with his last name but this does not mean he will deny them. He will proudly announce to everyone that he is breeding a farm of little ones. This is the month of the extended family.

A chance for the wardrobe change

Over the entire duration of the year, many people will not care too much for changing the outfits they own. These outfits will be worn, re-worn, out-worn and over-worn across the year. However when it comes to December, there will be a desire, almost an urgency to change the wardrobe. No one wants to be seen with the same clothes year after year and the best time to make the ultimate wardrobe change is December. During the stretch of this month you will see weird fashion styles creeping up and flying about. All this is an attempt to find the fashion styles that people will eventually settle for in the New Year. If you have been shy to try on those bright colored pants or strange hair style, now is your chance to go all out. This is a month of fashion testing.

The threat of Obesity

In terms of consumption of food, this is the month that holds records for most food consumed by otherwise sane people. People generally get into overdrive and eat almost twice as much as they have been eating in the past. Usually people want to close out the year in style and there are not too many ways better than eating oneself into the New Year. We will therefore see some people put on a few more pounds while others will totally explode out of their bodies and into some overly huge beings better known as fat people. If we have been starving all year long, it is partly because we have been saving so that we can eat ourselves to obesity in December. This is a month of eating.

Summer Syndrome

People from all around the world will be travelling back to their home countries to celebrate the end of the year with their families. Those coming back to Uganda will particularly come home bearing strange accents, bizarre behavior, several fur winter coats and truckloads of money. They will ‘make it rain’ on the rest of us in the clubs, bars and hangout spots because, well, they will have worked all year long to earn those Benjamins. Some will have the nerve to ask if they can pay their bill at the local restaurant with dollars because apparently they are too lazy to make it to the Forex bureau and change their cash to shillings. This is a month of the summer syndrome.

Tis a Season to be Jolly

Quite naturally, many people will be looking forward to Christmas. It is almost as if the season officially starts on 1st December because the weeks leading up to Christmas are all set aside for shopping, making plans, shoving products into people’s faces, having events left right and center, and generally being in a merry and jolly mood. As the Christmas season draws closer, it can be said with fair certainty that most people will be looking forward to the joy and excitement that comes with the season. People will listen to less Mavado & Nicki Minaj as they will be busy listening to Christmas carols by Jim Reeves and Philly Lutaaya. People will even change their ringtones from Sex On Fire by Kings of Leon to Above All by Michael W. Smith.

I would like to wish all readers of this blog a wonderful month of December.

hello-decemberIt is that time of the year … 

And for your weekly dose of inspiration …

“December’s wintery breath is already clouding the pond, frosting the pane, obscuring summer’s memory…” ― John Geddes

Bernard
a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
Follow @beewol on Twitter

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3 thoughts on “Hello December!

  1. Guess I am one of the unlucky ones born in December then. I don’t get any expensive presents. I don’t get any presents. People claim the festive season has left them too broke…

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