Woe Unto Evil Colleagues!

To many people, unemployment is an extremely undesirable and dangerous scenario mostly because in today’s world, having a job is almost the only way one can survive. Eventually when the gods smile your way and you get a job, the first thing that comes to your mind is how and where you will spend that first salary. After a few routine salaries, it slowly begins to dawn on you that maybe this world of employment is not as rosy as after all. There are the numerous relatives demanding a shirt here or tuition there, the younger siblings constantly hounding you for pocket money, the insanely early hours you have to wake up to be ready for work, the frequently changing fashion trends you need to keep up with and the endless list of taxes the Government is relentlessly pursuing you for.

Working at a job that pays very little money is bearable if you can pay your rent, buy a pair of shoes and generally not die of starvation. This however can only be possible if your workplace is not the kind of place that harbors evil people lurking about in the name of workmates or colleagues.

I am quite lucky to work at a place where the work environment is super. My colleagues are wonderful people who will go extra lengths to make sure I do my work well. Sometimes I take credit for the work I do simply because I have a wonderful cast that I work with. However, over the weekend, I had a chat with a friend who seemed saddened about the state of affairs at her workplace. Her colleagues can best be described as evil spirits in the bodies of human beings –they are simply terrible people. When she explained her ordeal, I couldn’t help but feel for her and others like her, people who work with terrible colleagues. I promised her that I would dedicate this Monday’s blog post to hammering those evil colleagues who make work hell. I therefore come before you my friends, with a call for woe unto evil colleagues.

The Snitching Colleague

Back in my school days, we had a thing called ‘solida’, (short for ‘solidarity’) which in this context meant standing up as one unit no matter the consequences. Occasionally, some students ratted us out with their snitching and often times, our otherwise well orchestrated plans would not see the light of day. These snitches either reported to the school administration or told our secret out to folks who shouldn’t have heard a word of it. We would then get punished for being stubborn students and the snitches got rewarded for being ‘model’ students. Fast forward to several years later; these snitches exist even at the work place. The boss decides that Casual Friday has been scrapped because employees are becoming too lazy. Everyone decides that they actually need this Casual Friday because it is the only day they can wear leggings and t-shirts to work and not worry that their suit is not well pressed. Everyone agrees that this Friday they will all show up in casual outfits and if the boss is going to dock anyone’s pay, he will have to dock the entire company. On Friday, everyone shows up with the casual outfits but amongst them are three employees donning suits and looking as formal as can be. Suddenly it seems like they are the only ones who listen to the boss and as a result everyone else gets docked and casual Friday is actually scrapped. Woe unto you snitches!


Solidarity – helping the masses stand up to bullies since forever!

The Colleague On a Solo Plot

The reason why work moves faster in most work places is because there is plenty of cooperation and sharing of ideas. However, there are some colleagues who for several reasons prefer to work on a solo plot. Now, before anyone misunderstands me, I agree that some people are natural loners, not because they will for it to be but because they have had terrible lives. They work better when left to themselves. This however does not change the fact that having a loner in the work environment can be a real mood damper. They come to work and sit at their workstation saying nothing all day. They may be delivering quite well but if there is no interaction with other employees, it is easy to suspect that they may be planning to burn down the office or they might have quietly slipped some rat poison into the office coffee maker. In this day and age where interaction is at an all-time high, most employers are looking for employees who can share ideas and opinions and generally be team members. If you are a work place loner, you probably deserve a compulsory prison sentence to the remote Island of Saint Helena where Napoleon eventually met his death. Woe unto you!

stuck-couch-catWhen you get stuck somewhere, no one will help you out.

The Ignorant Colleague  

Naturally when you are applying for a job, there is the assumption that you can actually execute whatever duties are thrown your way. Most jobs will even offer you an opportunity for some kind of training. When you have started your job, you can be excused if for the first few weeks you seem to be getting things wrong. If however after 2 years you are still getting things wrong, maybe you need to hand in your resignation; for the good of everyone. You see, some jobs are so technical that the mistake may not be noticed until after a lot of damage has been done and it might be difficult to place a finger on who exactly didn’t do their part well. With such jobs, the entire workplace is as good as its weakest link. Sometimes the weakest link may be existent because the boss must find a position for his girlfriend or the HR person must fix their cousin somewhere. If you are the ignorant and clueless person at your work place and you are slowing down everyone else, woe unto you!

dorkIf you’re going to slow down people,  you need one of these.

The Power Hungry Colleague

Every work place has its own dynamics when it comes to chain of command and explaining who is who’s female dog. Sadly you will occasionally come across employees who love to wield their power over others as though their lives depended on it. One would imagine they are failed politicians because the manner in which they like to exert their power is rather ridiculous. Having authority or power does not require for one to be ruthless and utterly despotic. Having authority is about nurturing those under you, applauding them when they do something right, correcting them when they do something wrong and generally giving them reason to want to work under you. I don’t believe it is written anywhere that just because person X earns more than or is higher in the ladder than person Y it means that person X is a better person. If you are the kind of colleague who is constantly wielding an iron arm and generally making an ass of yourself by giving those under you a hard time, woe unto you!

There is a long list of colleagues who deserve a high five with a hot frying pan in the face but we will assume that by reading about these here, they will take a hint and slow down on being dumbasses. A work place is supposed to be a  home away from home but if there is someone messing this up for you; woe unto you!

Have yourselves a wonderful week and don’t forget to vote for yours truly in the Social Media Awards. Go to the link www.socialmediaawards.ug and look for Beewol in the Best Blog / Blogger category, then do your thing.

And for your weekly quote …

“If everyone helps to hold up the sky, then one person does not become tired.” ― Askhari Johnson Hodari, Lifelines: The Black Book of Proverbs


a.k.a Beewol

The Talkative Rocker

You can follow @beewol on Twitter.


6 thoughts on “Woe Unto Evil Colleagues!

  1. The case for solidarity should be aimed for the greater good and shouldn’t involve violence unless, maybe, the other party is also using violence. The loner guy; they’re really some awesome people who love to do things alone. Maybe they’re just not into talking about last night’s Manchester game ( which they survived BTW ) or the previous episode of Maid in Manhattan. They’d probably prefer to discuss, why America shouldn’t attack Iran. It makes their collegues suspisious but sometimes they only have good intentions and can be good team players for a greater cause. No love for the Snitching guy!

    • Very valid points there. However, my suggestion of engaging in conversation with colleagues does not necessarily have to be about Man United or Maid in Manhattan or Agataliko Nfufu. It can be anything and everything. The point is to engage with other people. You get to share ideas and become a better person. You can never know everything you need to survive all by yourself. NEVER! If you would rather discuss American politics, awesome. The point is, get talking. And about the solidarity …no for violence. We wanted violence when we were adolescents. Now we are more mature and we know better.

      Thank you for reading by the way 🙂

  2. There are people who refuse to learn certain work processes bse they know the boss and the work load falls on you, there is a special place in hell for you

You got something to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s