Jaberi, Boniface and Maria

While I was comfortably enjoying my otherwise calm and peaceful Sunday, three friends called me up with “breaking but wonderful news” of the re-opening of Makerere University. They called me up at separate times but the general idea was to have me join them in celebrating the resumption of business at the Ivory Tower. Now this might seem strange but here is the thing; my three friends are not lecturers, students, members of the support staff or even the vice chancellor. They are simply what I like to call ‘well wishers’.

During the time I was at Makerere University, there are a number of things I learnt; retakes can and should be avoided at all costs, a campus girl will do anything to avoid a pregnancy and many people other than lecturers and students benefit when the university is open. The first two really need no further explanation but the third needs a little more light, and this is what this blog post shall attempt to do; to explain how certain individuals will benefit from the re-opening of the University. As such, ladies and gentlemen, I give you my friends Jaberi, Boniface and Maria.

Jaberi 

Jaberi and I graduated from Makerere University around the same time. When he graduated, he had not exactly enjoyed his stay at the University because the course he pursued demanded a little more concentration than mine did and also because he was too stuck up to go with the YOLO thing. Also, he was not too good with the ladies and so he was sort of resigned to being a loner. He made his friends in discussions, group assignments and course work rush hours unlike the rest of us who made friends at the bazaar, during strikes and during campus night. On the nights when we had campus night at the club, one would be sure to find Jaberi in the Library or in his room somewhere in Nkrumah Hall. During the nights of the bazaar, Jaberi would only be present for 30 minutes for the simple reason that he needed to know if he could get cheaper rims of paper or better washing soap. After identifying what he wanted, he would rush off because he usually had a pending discussion or test the next day. While the rest of us stayed back to assess and rank freshers’ bossoms and cleavages, Jaberi would be long gone. Therefore by the time Jaberi graduated, he was very green about the wild life we had lived but he swore that as soon as he settled in with a job much later in life, he would rewind the clock and party like a beast on drugs. Jaberi is now a successful doctor and he does own a very wonderful clinic somewhere in this city. However, on every campus night (and I mean EVERY CAMPUS NIGHT), you will find Jaberi casually strolling along the bar counter in a certain club. The dude is focused on making up for the party he did not have at campus. With MUK open, Jaberi can now comfortably close up his clinic and head down to the club to attack the campus night. NO ladies; I shall not give you Jaberi’s number – he is happily married with 2 wonderful kids. His family however has no idea that sometimes when Jaberi is ‘working late’ he is actually dancing to Cindy’s Selecta or Chameleon’s Valu Valu.

old man dancingAge is just a number, right?

Boniface

My other friend Boniface is what many people like to call a sugar daddy. Well, according to him, he is simply a business man who identifies a need and presents a solution to the need. Campus girls need attention, new phones, decent food and some even want cards; Boniface provides these so he is simply solving a problem. However, the rest of society might think otherwise. You see, Boniface has the habit of driving his newly purchased BMW into MUK just to pass time. In the process of passing time, a girl or two or three or even four will be impressed by his window tint or smooth driving. The moment a girl smiles in the direction of the clean BMW, Boniface will park his ride and pretend to ask about something extremely random. Most times, it’s about a pending coursework or missed test which the other person is usually clueless about. It usually ends in phone numbers exchanged and at a later date, an invite to Boniface’s pad. Occasionally there will be a hiccup of a pregnancy scare or a threat of abandonment but generally speaking, Boniface is having his fair share of campus girls. He is a sweet guy really (and this probably qualifies him better to be a sugar daddy) and he is generous (which also explains the three Samsung Galaxy S4s he has recently purchased as he waits for the University to re-open). It is likely that these phones will eventually be owned by gorgeous campus girls who will in turn make their way to Boniface’s speed dial.

GirlsBoniface can afford to have them lined up

Maria

For the seventh year running, Maria has been a student at Makerere University. Ordinarily, when you join the University, after 3, 4 or 5 years at the most, you should be winding up. Maria is not about to wind up; as a matter of fact, she is just getting started. Maria’s dad lives outside Uganda and for 8 years he has paid her tuition promptly every semester. She somehow managed to convince her father that she was pursuing a 3 year course followed by a 4 year course and then there will be another 2 year course to wrap it up. She owns a shop somewhere in the city and she uses this tuition money to beef up her little business. With the university closed and all, Maria could not ask for the tuition she should have been receiving every semester. Her father is up-to-date in terms of the whole lecturers strike and stuff so it is safe to say he knew what was happening. When Maria heard about the re-opening of the campus, you can imagine what excitement she was in. The news about the re-opening of MUK was met with joy, excitement and a hint of relief from Maria. Our conversation on the phone lasted 6 minutes which were split between planning a house party, new ideas for the business and discussing the dollar rate.

houseparty_fullpic_artworkThis is usually shared by Maria on whatsapp when the tuition arrives

For these three friends of mine, the re-opening of Makerere University couldn’t come any sooner. Actually, it could have come sooner; like last week, or even last month. So while the lecturers and their students shall celebrate this news, my three friends Jaberi, Boniface and Maria will also be looking forward to pursuing their respective ‘courses’. It is likely that there will be plenty of parties thrown around not just by these three individuals but many other ‘well wishers’ who in one way or another will benefit from the opening of the University.

It should therefore be noted by the Government, Lecturers and all stake holders that when the University is closed, many people lose a lot. Next time you people want to close down the Ivory Tower, please think of my three friends Jaberi, Boniface and Maria.

And for that other weekly dose of inspiration

The universities deceive when they say they have no agenda other than to open minds. – Dennis Prager

Have a great week all you campusers and well wishers

Bernard
a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker

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3 thoughts on “Jaberi, Boniface and Maria

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